


Outside (big mistake)

by RubberSquare678



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: (shrug), ALL HAIL, Cecil has a third eye so, M/M, Non-Human Cecil Palmer, Well I mean it’s kinda implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:21:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24011218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RubberSquare678/pseuds/RubberSquare678
Summary: Carlos decides that it would be a good idea to take Cecil to meet his family for Thanksgiving. Boy, he sure made a HUGE mistake.
Relationships: Carlos/Cecil Palmer
Comments: 5
Kudos: 92





	Outside (big mistake)

**Author's Note:**

> So I saw this on Pinterest and I found it hilarious so I decided to make a fanfic out of it. Hope y’all enjoy! (Btw I’m only on episode 56 so if you’re confused as to why they’re only dating and not married that’s why)

“Stay tuned next for the never ending marching that actually is impending doom. And as always, goodnight, Night Vale, goodnight.”

Cecil ended his broadcast with a press of the button on his soundboard, sighed happily, and sat back in his chair. It was November, and he knew what that meant- raining dead rodents, as the glow cloud (all hail) seemed to do more frequently yet randomly due to the colder air. Only problem is, he hadn’t informed everyone that particular fact on today’s community calendar, and he had asked Carlos, oh sweet, perfect Carlos, on another date, so he hoped that the glow cloud would show mercy. He knew Carlos hated driving through dead animals. 

Cecil glanced up as he heard the familiar thump of corpses hitting the roof of the station. He rolled his eyes and stood up, tucking his chair under his desk. Honestly. He had hoped that they might get a bit more time to get in the car first. He opened the studio booths door and strode down the corridor, wishing goodnight to all of today’s surviving interns. As Cecil approached the front desk, he saw through the glass front doors that Carlos was pulling up into the carpark. (How Carlos did that when cars didn’t exist was still a mystery for him. He still didn’t understand why they had a carpark in the first place.)

Carlos rolled down his window and beckoned Cecil inside. He quickly had to shut the window though as what looked like a dead mouse narrowly missed landing in the passenger seat. Cecil braced himself and raced out to the car, opening it swiftly and jumping inside. The door slammed behind him and he sighed in relief. He really didn’t want to get blood from the corpses on his purple waistcoat. He had just got it dry cleaned yesterday. 

”Hey Cecil. How was your day?” asked his boyfriend, smiling from next to him. He relaxed as Carlos sweet caramel tones washed over him. 

”It was great, Carlos. I had 3 interns survive today and I had several stories to report on which always puts me in a good mood. What about you? Did you have a good day? Did you do some interesting science-y things today?” 

Carlos smiled at that as he started the car. “My day was productive. I found out what was causing that breeze to fly past everyone at the same time exactly every twelve minutes. I also got rid of those mushrooms growing in the back of my fridge. I’ve been meaning to do that.” 

They began to back out of the parking lot. “I also have got really exiting news for you Cecil!” Carlos announced.

“Oh? And what news what that be?” Cecil questioned. “Did you see the brownstone spire today? Or maybe you found out where the animals from the glow cloud came from?” He gasped “or are we going somewhere?”

Carlos chuckled. “Yes, actually, we’re going somewhere. Well, I got a text today from my sister Sofía. My family have wanted to meet you for a while now so... we are going to my family’s house next Saturday for Thanksgiving! I already talked to your producers and they said you could have the day off. Well, I assume so. They sort of just let out a high static scream, so I took that as a yes. Anyway, you’re finally going to meet my family. This is going to be so much fun!”

————————————————————

The radio blared loudly as they drove down the street. Cecil sung along as Carlos pulled over to frown over the map. Turns out getting out of Night Vale was just as hard as finding it. Nearly impossible. Somehow if you just drive straight ahead you’d end up back where you had started. Carlos didn’t even want to begin to understand how that worked. It was Thanksgiving, it was supposed to be his day off! He eventually found his way out by not following any road signs and just looking for the nearest landmark. He’d found out where he was and was looking for the fastest way to get to his house, when a shaky finger tapped him in the shoulder. He glanced up.

”Yes Cecil? Is something wrong?” he asked. Cecil turned down the radio with a click, and pointed to a point on the horizon. 

”Is that...what I think it is?” Cecil asked quietly. Carlos followed his gaze. Ahead of them was a huge mountain, and was so tall you couldn’t see the top. 

”Cecil, it’s a- oh. Right. Mountains exist out here. Crazy right?” He said in a joking tone, but stopped when Cecil covered his eyes and looked away. 

“Nope. Nope, not real. Nuh-uh. Nothing to see here. Mountains don’t exist.” Cecil muttered to himself. Carlos gave him a strange look. Why Night Vale refused to believe in something that shouldn’t need scientifically proving was a mystery to him. He would never understand the whole “mountains aren’t real!” thing, it just really confused him. He looked down and continued to find a way home.

————————————————————

Carlos parked the car and got out. Cecil did the same, his eyes full of excitement. He had never seen a town other than Night Vale before. This entire trip would be a whole new experience for him. 

”Hey Cecil honey, the roads are really full so we’re parking here. We’re going to have to walk there-not too long, don’t worry, it’s about half an hour. Is that alright?”

Cecil grinned at him. “Don’t worry- that would be neat!” he exclaimed, his third eye blinking a couple times enthusiastically. “More time to see this strange town, and more importantly, more time to be with you.”

Carlos blushed as he took Cecils hand and began to lead him through the streets. Every so often, he would gasp in amazement, and would even stop and stare inside the shop windows. “Look Carlos, it’s a stationary shop. They sells PENS, Carlos, PENS!”

People stopped what they were doing and stared at the strange man walking down the street gawking at stationary shops. Carlos didn’t regret a thing. Cecil looked around in a mix of wonder and disgust, looking at all the illegal things people were selling. “I mean look at that pizza shop Carlos. It can’t be as good as Big Rico’s, surely. It doesn’t even have wood flavour on the menu! I thought every pizza shop had that!”

The funniest time though, was when Cecil suddenly grabbed onto his arm. “Carlos!” he had yelled in horror, and Carlos had quickly spun round to see what had happened. Cecil was staring at the inside of a Subway, and sounded distressed. 

”Carlos, they’re eating-“ he dropped his voice to a whisper “wheat or wheat byproducts!” There was pure horror in his voice. Carlos had sighed in relief. “Cecil I thought something serious had happened.”

”But something serious did happen! Those wheat or wheat byproducts are really dangerous! Someone should alert this towns sheriffs secret police immediately. For shame.” Cecil took out his phone and spoke into the speaker. “Hello? This is an emergency, come right away. This shop is selling wheat or wheat byproducts to citizens-“ Carlos had to drag him away.

————————————————————

Cecil had a thing against libraries and librarians. It hadn’t been much trouble in Nightvale, as Cecil knew where it was and tried to avoid it at all costs. However, since he didn’t know that libraries were only dangerous in Night Vale, and since Carlos had forgotten to tell him that one minor detail, Cecil had freaked out and yelled at everyone that had tried to get near.

”Watch out for the librarians! They’ll kill you! Be careful! Hey, that’s not a government approved book! Make sure the sheriffs secret police don’t see you have that book in your possession!” Carlos was bright red and was trying to get Cecil to stop when a police officer in blue walked up, glaring at them both. 

”Excuse me, you realise that shouting really loudly at people for no reason in front of public buildings is disturbing the peace and can be considered a crime?” The man asked, but Cecil just stared at him. Carlos understood immediately, but before he could apologise, Cecil spoke.

”Uh, sir, you’re showing yourself. In public.” Cecil said slowly. The police officer stared at him as if he were crazy. 

”Well of course I am! It’s my job to make sure that you people don’t disturb the peace! I can’t do that if I’m hiding all the time!” 

”But you’re apart of the sheriffs secret police! You’re not secret if you’re letting your presence know to everyone around you!” Cecil retorted, and Carlos did a mental facepalm. Before Cecil could go any further, he interrupted him.

”Sorry we bothered you Mr Police Officer sir. My boyfriend was just joking. He didn’t mean to break the law. It won’t happen again I can promise you,” Carlos hastily said, trying to leave. If they didn’t hurry, they’d be late for the dinner. He was starting to regret bringing Cecil along for this.

”Harumph. You just see that it doesn’t,” the man huffed and walked away. Carlos took Cecils hand and continued down the street. Cecil still didn’t know what was going on. Why did he agree to this?

————————————————————

“Well that’s strange...” Cecil commented at the people all coming out of the subway exit. “All of them haven’t grown any extra visible limbs or gone insane. The subway often does that to people.”

————————————————————

The doorbell rang. They made it. Finally, they had made it. Thank god Carlos had decided to go around the dog park. He never would have got Cecil here.

The door opened. A woman with chocolate skin, brown hair and dark eyes looked out. “Hermano!” she cried and leapt out to hug Carlos. “Woah, hi Sofía!” he chuckled as he wrapped his arms around her. 

His sister pulled away. “It’s been too long,” she grumbled, but perked up when she noticed Cecil. “So, is this your lovely boy-“ she stopped when she noticed Cecils third eye blinking at her. 

Cecil didn’t seem to take the hint and reached out to shake her hand. “Hello. My name is Cecil, but you probably knew that already. It’s so great to finally meet you!” 

His sister hesitantly took his hand and shook it. “Uh...hey. My name is Sofía.” Once again Carlos regretted everything.

A voice called them from inside the house. “Is that Carlos? Well don’t just stand there, come on in!

————————————————————

Carlos was seated around the table, packed full of food. Cecil was happily chatting to his family. It seemed to be going great. (He would definitely have to explain the third eye later on though.) 

“Carlos what are you eating?” questioned Cecil quietly from next to him. Cecil was staring intently at the cornbread in his hand. Carlos frowned. “It’s cornbread. You should try some. It’s really good.” Then he realised. Oh no. 

”That’s a wheat or wheat byproduct! Carlos stop eating it it will kill you!” Cecil whisper-yelled. Sigh.

————————————————————

They had decided to play some games after dinner. Just simple board games, nothing special. Luckily Cecil knew them all. As per Cecils request, they had the radio on in the background. They were halfway through Monopoly. Him and Cecil were on a team, and they owned quite a few properties. Turns out Cecils great at this game. And pretty much every other game they’ve played. Just imagine Carlos’ shock when Cecil suddenly gets up and starts to fiddle with the radio. “Is something wrong honey?” he asked. Cecil turned to him. “There’s no music coming out. It’s just people talking.”

Carlos’ mother laughed. “That’s because we’re in the weather segment, dear.”

”Exactly!”

**Author's Note:**

> I’m so bad at writing even the tiniest bit of romance I’m sorry!!!


End file.
